...make up your mind, jeez

[zarahjoyce]

Ugh. It's that time again. I have a habit of over-thinking stuff that leads me to worry about non-existent things like 90% of the time. It's something I can't stop myself from doing, ever.

Guess what I'm doing now.

See, I have a job for now. I'm saying 'for now' since technically I'm a sub for a regular worker who's been in Singapore for a couple of months now. The work is pretty much okay; it has its highs and lows like all jobs do. The salary is not the best, ever, but I'm managing to spend a bit on things and save at the same time, so I can't complain. Problem is, I have it in my mind that this paying job will end on June 30. I don't know if this will get extended or not, or if after the June 30 period the regular status I'm currently filling will be offered to a temp and I'll be taking the temp's place (which I think is just right considering most of the temps there have been in office for a lot longer than I have).

Now, my brother's currently urging me to send my resume to a university for a teaching position. It's my dream to teach Communications in college, actually - I've been entertaining thoughts of it forever, and only acted on it once - but got burned, since at that time I had no teaching experience and the guy I was up against had lots. But this time... I don't know. I'm being arrogant, I know, but what if I get accepted and I'm still in my current job? This is where my overthinking comes in - I'm already thinking how to explain my decision to leave, even if I haven't acted on anything yet. Which is partly why I'm not acting yet. yes my brain is a scary place, why do you ask.

Ugh. I don't know what to doooo. I wish I'd stop worrying about things until they are right in front of me :(

Comments

[reetinkerbell.livejournal.com]

I have a habit of over-thinking stuff that leads me to worry about non-existent things like 90% of the time. I do the same thing. I create problems in my head, based on simply having received an email and I stress out over it for ages for no reason at all.

I think you should apply, and then if/when you get the job and you would have to start before this current job is over with, just be honest and say that you applied for a job because you knew this was ending and you needed something lined up, but you didn't know at the time that it would start before June 30th/that they wanted to extend your temping, and that sorry, but you're going to have to quit.

Which is easy for me to sit and suggest, but perhaps not so much to actually do. But, I really hope you won't hold a potentially awkward scene in which you will have to actually quit your temp job from applying to a job you really want.

[reetinkerbell.livejournal.com]

Also, LOL! I just noticed your icon - HAHA.

[zarahjoyce.livejournal.com]

IKNOWRITE. I really should use this icon more XD

I create problems in my head, based on simply having received an email and I stress out over it for ages for no reason at all.

God, this. This so hard. It's like I can't function without worrying about something and it's just a sick, sick way to deal with things sometimes.

...you know, you have a point. Besides, they're the one who told me that my job isn't permanent, so they shouldn't be surprised if I leave it for something better.

Just, ugh. Why couldn't this opportunity come before I was accepted into this job :(

[reetinkerbell.livejournal.com]

For me, I think it's the stress that I need, in an odd sort of way.

Especially if they haven't told you anything about extending the time they want you to work there - they can't expect you not to look for another job, and just be there if they decide that oh yeah, they need you for another x number of weeks.

To give you more experience and appreciativeness for the next job?

[zarahjoyce.livejournal.com]

I know. I can always justify it as being on the lookout for something better, and guess what, I found one.

Well, there is that. In fairness to my current one I am learning about lots of things.

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

Just send in your resume. I play the What if game a lot but the thing is, you won't know unless you try. Once you send in your resume, if they want you, you can cross that bridge when you get to it. :)

[zarahjoyce.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I know this is the right thing to do, but... asfdgjkkl. I will, though! Thank you ♥

[polina-slosvau.livejournal.com]

Ack, I know what that's like. I always end up feeling horrible about it, even though it's obvious that when it comes to work, we should just... do what's best for ourselves.

[zarahjoyce.livejournal.com]

LJ WHY DID I ONLY RECEIVE THIS NOTIF NOW :(((

...anyway, yes, I agree. That's why we work, after all, so that we can better ourselves, or something. I just wish it isn't so hard to decide :(

[artsnletters.livejournal.com]

Believe me Zarah, I know what you feel. :(

*hugs*

But I'll say to go for it. At least you were presented with an opportunity already... You won't ever know if you'll be happier or sadder with it if you won't try right? And if not now, then when? Until when will you wait for another chance?

But maybe I'm being emotional tonight so whatever your choice is... It'll be okay. Have faith. ;)

I missed you, btw!

[zarahjoyce.livejournal.com]

*hugs right back!* Thank you. I'll probably think about this a bit more, but... yeah. I missed you too~!