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zarahjoyce) wrote2014-09-18 10:11 pm
zarahjoyce) wrote2014-09-18 10:11 pm
Entry tags:
rst fic: Whimsy
Summary: Fifteen truths about Tokatti and his crush on Mio.
1. It's not that he never had a crush before. If he can, he'll remember a classmate from his old school (you'll never catch me!), his homeroom teacher (thank you for bringing me flowers today), even an older girl who later becomes his brother's soft-of-girlfriend (no she's not, get back to your drawings.) He'd had tons of crushes, so this isn't new.
2. What is new is the intensity in his chest and the giddiness engulfing him whenever she's near. What's new is the sudden helplessness he feels about these feelings, too.
3. Whenever she's within his sight, he'll start to feel the signs; an itch at the back of his tongue that makes him want to clear his throat, the urge to tug and straighten his shirt and tie to seem more presentable, more pleasing, somehow. His glasses are always askew and needs constant adjusting, too.
4. When she speaks to him... oh, boy. Often he's reduced to an even more incoherent, blubbering mess and he hates it - but it's not like he can help it, either.
5. Mio doesn't seem to mind, though. She only tilts her head and looks at him quizzically - Tokatti, are you alright? - and of course he'll say he is, of course, don't be silly, of course he's fine, no, really! Of course!
She'll quietly hand him a handkerchief and he won't know why until later when he realizes that he's been sweating buckets all along. Sigh.
6. It isn't like he woke up one day and decided that he likes Mio, he thinks. It gradually builds up - every kindness, every smile, every compassionate act forming an unfathomable, unbreakable thing that wraps around his heart and refuses to let go. He's spent some nights tossing and turning because contrary to what he thinks, he's smart enough to know and understand exactly what it is that he's feeling.
7. Not that knowing and understanding it made things easier, though. The question is - what is he going to do about it?
8. Once he asked Right about it - without being too specific, of course. That day Right's eyes shone so brightly; he nodded and said I understand how you feel! That's exactly how I am when I think about my favorite bento and barbecue together...!
That's when he decides that, nope, Right doesn't understand and nope, Right doesn't need to know more.
9. Another time he asked Kagura about it and fifteen minutes later, the two of them were reenacting a scene from Cinderella and no, he really doesn't remember how they jumped from point A to point B, exactly, just that suddenly he's putting on glass slippers and they were dancing and Kagura was giggling and so was he.
It had been a lovely day.
10. Of course he's thought about asking Hikari, but decides against the idea quickly. After all, Hikari's the most perceptive of them all and he may start asking perceptive questions and make deductive conclusions and no, he's not yet prepared for that.
And then circumstances forces Hikari to know about his crush and, well, Tokatti's got to admit, it's sort of nice to have someone else know his secret.
11. No, he hasn't asked Akira. The last conversation they had together, they were talking about bread crumbs and somehow that lead to a dramatic declaration of bakeries being among the greatest places to die in (closing your eyes with baked bread being the very last thing you see...! I can only hope that my death will be as peaceful!) and really, he didn't know how that happened. He bet Akira didn't, either.
12. So he's sort of stuck at this weird place where he knows he likes someone but isn't too keen on acting on it - because he doesn't know how. He'll just be here, bidding for his time while trying not to feel toojealousenvious when Mio hounds Right because of his antics, or when she tries to cook and feed Hikari all his favorite (and not so favorite) foods, or when she grabs Kagura's hand each time the group has to split up.
13. For now, he'll happily soak up each smile she gives him and try his best to appreciate every little thing she does for the group - even look out for her in battle, just in case. Not that she needs it; she's a better fighter than he can ever aspire to be. But still.
14. For now, he'll happily ignore the fact that she has yet to fuss over him the way she usually does for Right, Hikari, and Kagura.
15. After all, surely his time will come too - right?
(Right?)
1. It's not that he never had a crush before. If he can, he'll remember a classmate from his old school (you'll never catch me!), his homeroom teacher (thank you for bringing me flowers today), even an older girl who later becomes his brother's soft-of-girlfriend (no she's not, get back to your drawings.) He'd had tons of crushes, so this isn't new.
2. What is new is the intensity in his chest and the giddiness engulfing him whenever she's near. What's new is the sudden helplessness he feels about these feelings, too.
3. Whenever she's within his sight, he'll start to feel the signs; an itch at the back of his tongue that makes him want to clear his throat, the urge to tug and straighten his shirt and tie to seem more presentable, more pleasing, somehow. His glasses are always askew and needs constant adjusting, too.
4. When she speaks to him... oh, boy. Often he's reduced to an even more incoherent, blubbering mess and he hates it - but it's not like he can help it, either.
5. Mio doesn't seem to mind, though. She only tilts her head and looks at him quizzically - Tokatti, are you alright? - and of course he'll say he is, of course, don't be silly, of course he's fine, no, really! Of course!
She'll quietly hand him a handkerchief and he won't know why until later when he realizes that he's been sweating buckets all along. Sigh.
6. It isn't like he woke up one day and decided that he likes Mio, he thinks. It gradually builds up - every kindness, every smile, every compassionate act forming an unfathomable, unbreakable thing that wraps around his heart and refuses to let go. He's spent some nights tossing and turning because contrary to what he thinks, he's smart enough to know and understand exactly what it is that he's feeling.
7. Not that knowing and understanding it made things easier, though. The question is - what is he going to do about it?
8. Once he asked Right about it - without being too specific, of course. That day Right's eyes shone so brightly; he nodded and said I understand how you feel! That's exactly how I am when I think about my favorite bento and barbecue together...!
That's when he decides that, nope, Right doesn't understand and nope, Right doesn't need to know more.
9. Another time he asked Kagura about it and fifteen minutes later, the two of them were reenacting a scene from Cinderella and no, he really doesn't remember how they jumped from point A to point B, exactly, just that suddenly he's putting on glass slippers and they were dancing and Kagura was giggling and so was he.
It had been a lovely day.
10. Of course he's thought about asking Hikari, but decides against the idea quickly. After all, Hikari's the most perceptive of them all and he may start asking perceptive questions and make deductive conclusions and no, he's not yet prepared for that.
And then circumstances forces Hikari to know about his crush and, well, Tokatti's got to admit, it's sort of nice to have someone else know his secret.
11. No, he hasn't asked Akira. The last conversation they had together, they were talking about bread crumbs and somehow that lead to a dramatic declaration of bakeries being among the greatest places to die in (closing your eyes with baked bread being the very last thing you see...! I can only hope that my death will be as peaceful!) and really, he didn't know how that happened. He bet Akira didn't, either.
12. So he's sort of stuck at this weird place where he knows he likes someone but isn't too keen on acting on it - because he doesn't know how. He'll just be here, bidding for his time while trying not to feel too
13. For now, he'll happily soak up each smile she gives him and try his best to appreciate every little thing she does for the group - even look out for her in battle, just in case. Not that she needs it; she's a better fighter than he can ever aspire to be. But still.
14. For now, he'll happily ignore the fact that she has yet to fuss over him the way she usually does for Right, Hikari, and Kagura.
15. After all, surely his time will come too - right?
(Right?)