zarahjoyce | Dear F-list

I had to physically remove myself from the country to get over my depression. And I've never fully recovered from it, I've just got it so that it's manageable but I'll slip back into it every now and then. I also had to find ways to get active and out there, so I wouldn't allow myself to sit at home and wallow. I honestly had to kick my own arse.

If you ever are feeling low and need to chat, I'm here with two ears and two eyes, ready and willing. Being depressed is not something you want to do alone - I can't get you out of it, but I'm glad to help in any way I can.

*huggles*

I wish I could get away, like you did... I think it would help. I used to be a pretty optimistic person, but lately... well... I guess optimism still leaks out when you least expected it to.

I pretty much find myself unable to get out of bed. I cancel things with my friends because I don't think I can face them. *sigh* It got pretty bad, it did.

Thank you very, very much. It helps to know that people like you are there to listen. *huggles back*

I noticed in another post you mentioned that you're feeling inadequate with your abilities and have a lot of self doubt - something I'm all too familiar with. It's incredibly difficult to find value in what you're doing if you don't even think remotely well of yourself.

What helped for me was realizing that perhaps I set my standards too high. Do you compare yourself to others often? Or do you have an end goal in sight, something you want to be/achieve but it's SO difficult or challenging that you don't think you can even come close to achieving it? See, I did that (and I still do that) but it really helped to set smaller goals and lower my standards to something reasonable. . .

For instance, I want to be a doctor right? Being a doctor means getting into medical school. So I've spent the last four years trying to mold myself and my life into what med school admissions counselors want. I've been comparing myself to my peers and classmates, creating this grand scale and seeing where I land on it. It really did horrible things for my self esteem.

I basically had to scrap it all and think of who I want to be for myself, not for others. I want to be a doctor because I think I can be one and I'll do MY best, not admissions counselor's best, and if I make it - awesome! If I don't the first time around, then I'll set the bar a bit higher and work for it.

Does this help at all? If it doesn't, then I'll go to my fallback method and think of some jokes. ;-)

. . .

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .

"Dam."

:-)

Okay. dood. That joke = funny as all hell. This was the first thing I did today ... laugh! Thanks to you!

*huggles*

Yeah. I'm doing a lot of comparisons lately. It's just that, at my age, they are doing incredible things. I, on the other hand, am at nothing right now. I know I should not be doing this to myself (my esteem is already verrry low even without this drama) but... I can't help it.

Any more jokes you got there? XD

What is the last thing that goes through a bugs' head when it hits your windshield?

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

It's butt!

;-)

You... are... a genius. Really.

*much much love*

Awww *hug*

*casts a cheering charm*

Depressed? What kind of depressed? Like, really depressed so it's like a mental condition? Or just depressed like sad?

:(

Don't think we've ever been depressed...Stressed, definitely, to the point our parents worry about our behaviors, but not depressed. *that's our disclaimer saying we have no experience with this, so bear with us if our advice is awful and not comforting or helpful at all*

So...um...why are you depressed, if you don't mind us asking? (is that why your fics are angsty? hehe).

Maybe just talk to your family about it (especially if it's because you're all confused with life or something about your family is bothering you- like your sister being away and all) and pray a lot about it :) Things always pick up, even though they look bad at the moment. It's life, sometimes it sorts itself out without you realizing that it's happening.

And just so you know, we're sad that you're sad, and we sincerely hope you feel happier soon!

Well... it's more of me doubting myself and my abilities lately. I begin questioning why I'm here, what's my purpose, etc etc. It's like, what am I here for if I can't even show others what I can do?

*sigh*

*huggles back*

Back when I was depressed the most important thing for me was taking things one day at a time. I tried to live my life as normally as possible (example: even though I really didn't want to, I forced myself to eat), and I just told myself "Tommorrow will be better." And it was ^^

I think if you're having questions about your worth in life you need to find something rewarding to do, like volunteering or something. Volunteer work always makes people's lives better, always is appreciated greatly, and always gives the volunteer warm fuzzies too. Also, doing something with yourself means you have less time to dwell.

I hope you feel better soon! Maybe tommorrow!

You've given me a great suggestion... it made my optimistic side wake up a bit.

"Tomorrow will be better soon." God I hope so.

Thank you very much :D

What works for me when I get depressed is to push back everything that doesn't have to be done immediately and find something distracting to do, even if it's just zoning out in front of the television. It's not a fix all sloution, but it may help make things seem less overwhelming.

You know... it might. I plan on spending time doing ME STUFF later on.

Thank you very much :D

meds. and lots of cognitive therapy. teaches you how to think positive thoughts. i'm med free and pretty damn happy.

What kind of meds exactly? *researches cognitive therapy*

SSRI's (selective seritonin reuptake inhibitor) otherwise known as antidepressants. Lexapro worked for me, and Paxil was a nightmare (UK doesn't allow it for children under 18, I was given it at 13...damn US laws). It takes a while to find which one works for you. Basically go to a psychiatrist and they can help you find which ones could help you. Or, you may not need medication and they can give you cognitive therapy. But, you've gotta find the right combo of doctor, medicine, and therapy. What worked for me may not work for you.

If this worsens even more... I'll try this.

*snuggles*

Been there so I know how awful it feels. I was in high school then and a lot of it was to do with my group of friends. I got a new group, which I guess fixed it all in the end, but at the time? I think my only saving grace was my mom and two of my friends who refused to leave me alone. I tried therapy too and, while it didn't work for me, I found it to be a valuable resource anyway.

If you need to talk at all, feel free to shoot off an e-mail. :)

Thank you very much. I'm glad for you! You've got a great set of people there with you :D And yes, I will. *hugs* It's very nice to know that there are people like you out there :D

Sorry you're going through this. Different things work for different people, but writing in a journal, listening to music that brings catharsis (Sarah McLaughlin's Angel was probably listened to the most), and just slowly but surely facing a little bit of myself day to day and consciously letting people support me (I like to be self-sufficient but humans are social creatures for a reason, I think) got me through my worst times.

There were days I made progress, there were days I fell back down. And while there were days I gave in and felt like I couldn't fight anymore, I ultimately never let myself completely give up and let my naturally stubborn will eventually carry me through.

Hope that helps, and feel free to email me (hinoto.yumemi@gmail.com) if you need someone to talk to, or even just someone to listen.

Thank you very much. It's very comforting to know you're there, willing to listen to me. It helps, believe me :D

I usually watch some funny videos just to keep my mind off things but that usually only distracts me for a little while and the depression would sink again after the video's over. Often times, I go to sleep but I know that's pretty unhealthy for someone who's depressed and wouldn't really solve things. They say that opening up to someone helps a lot so there would be some kind of support system. That would be a pretty good start so they'll be there to help you get a grasp of things.

Sometimes, I let the depression take its course and let things fade down a bit till I start doing something but that usually takes weeks. :/

Anyways, I hope you get through this. Hang tight. *hugs*

Thank you. I do hope it fades soon...

Well. This is gonna sound really deranged but. I ate. A LOT. A WHOLE LOT and then I started feeling better. Because food is good, man. You should always indulge yourself (although, uh, not too much, cause there's a reason obessity, heart attacks and cancer are so rampant, yeah? But that's not the point.)

Then when I remembered feeling depressed I immersed myself in things that had nothing to do with me. Like marathoning anime and tv shows. Or spending whole days on the internet chatting with really insane (IN A GOOD WAY) people. Because, well, as long as I wallow in silence, it'll always be THERE and I'd get all creepified of it and then I'd get more and more depressed. Then I'll eat again. Imagine how much weight that'd gain! (though that's nothing if the alternative is REALLY GOOD FOOD).

Actually, I'm not making sense anymore, am I? I'm just wasting space, man, but I really am hoping you get out of this funk. It's normal, I think, for people to suddenly doubt themselves or feel depressed for no reason. That's why bugging people exists! BUG PEOPLE! You'll forget your depression soon. (or, uhm, at least I hope so)

Smiley. Emoticons. Big smiley. Heart.

Bouncingbutt! Have i ever told you your username rocks? When I first saw you friended me I said, wtf?? But then I checked it out and after a few minites I was smiling, cuz you're back!Wee!

Yes. Indulge. I'm indulging and it's helping now :D

Yes I have, like at the begining of this semester. I was a little down from being from my good friends, and back to University where I felt not the same with friends here. I felt like people here didnt care about me, how I wanted to be..

I have depressed stages once in a while.

Truthfully, I find to get over it, is to not think about it. As the school semester started, I was wayyy to busy to think about it. I got out there, and did things that made me happy. I talked to my good friends, and felt the love I wasnt feeling. I joked, laughed, things that I mostly do, and make me feel wonderful.. I stop comparing me to others, because it gets me down. Instead, I think of what I am doing to help the world.

I should add you to my yahoo messenger.. But, Im here to listen no matter what..

Plus to make you feel better, the fic deciated to you and someone else, will be done by march 7th.

Oooh! March 7. Something to look forward to :D

I don't use ym often, but my id's pipermae14 :D feel free to add. Thank you muchly~!

Yuppers!

WIll do!

What's happening?

I'm trully regretfully sorry that I've read your post only now. I haven't had the time to browse through my flist so I missed this.

Zarah, what's up? I can't help but worry for you. And to answer your question, yes I've been depressed. So many times. How did I get over it? I dunno... I just go with the flow? I cried at night. I try to talk about it with my closest friends and just cry more. I pray.

I don't know what else to say.

Hold on. Find even the smallest things to smile for. ♥

Thank you very much! I'm holding up very well now :D

That's great! Let's just not forget that there are still so many things to smile for.

:D

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