I lol'd (
zarahjoyce) wrote2011-02-17 06:31 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
Gokaiger fic!
Title: Five Treasures the Gokaigers weren't able to profit from
Rating: G
Notes: Crack!fic of multiple proportions. I don't even know.
One
"A painting," Marvelous said, raising one brow. "You two stole a painting?"
Don exchanged grins with Ahim and nearly bounced on his feet. "Yes!"
"The museum it was housed in was very definitely impressive," Ahim said, folding her hands neatly in front of her and smiling. "And there were a lot of beautiful Earthling things to choose from!"
"But we think the one they called Mona Lisa is the most expensive," he said. "It's literally priceless, so we can sell it at a very high price!"
"Huh," their captain said, nonchalantly. "Very well. You should--"
He was rudely interrupted when the sound of a firing gun pierced their senses. Don and Ahim went running, while Marvelous followed languidly behind them.
"...what did you do?" Don asked, staring in horror at the scene before him.
Joe polished his gun, then threw a lazy glance at the bullet-ridden painting behind him. "I didn't like the way she was looking at me," he said simply.
Two
"You're sure we can sell that thing?" Luka asked, giving Joe a questioning look. "It's just a naked guy with a very small--"
"Of course we can," he said smugly, crossing his arms. "If there's one thing I've learned from humans, it's that they care a lot about their cultural heritage. I doubt they'd just let the missing statue remain missing for long."
At that moment, Ahim screamed.
The two barely moved from their seats.
"I don't know," Luka said.
"Just trust me," Joe told her.
"Fine," she said, standing. "Come on. I want to measure his tiny little--"
"Luka."
"All right!" She rolled her eyes. "But you have to admit, it's really small."
Joe refused to say anything in response to that.
A few minutes later, and the two were frantically looking for their statue.
"Didn't we just leave it here?" Luka asked.
"We did," Joe said. "Who could have--"
"Good afternoon," Ahim greeted them with a smile and a bow. "How are you this fine day?"
"Ahim, you didn't happen to see a statue of a guy that was just here a few minutes ago, did you?" Luka asked, agitated.
The woman raised her chin, walked to the table, and began preparing herself a cup of tea.
"Ahim," Joe said.
She delicately sniffled. "I threw it overboard."
Silence. Then, "What?"
"A lady shouldn't be in the presence of such a big, naked... thing!" she protested. "It's unforgivable, so I did the right thing and got rid of it." Ahim then smiled serenely at the two outraged pirates and calmly offered, "Would you two like some tea?"
Three
"I'm tired," Don proclaimed, plopping down on the sofa with a sigh. "What a waste of time that was!"
Ahim nodded, then quietly sat beside him. "It really is disappointing. I would have wanted to see what the Earth's most expensive diamond looks like."
"It's a diamond," Joe told her. "They all look the same. This one's just bigger, and blue from what I hear."
"Still..."
"Luka," Marvelous said, looking at her strangely.
She jumped, then immediately felt for the ring hanging loosely from her necklace - the one nobody saw her swipe for herself. "W-What? What?"
"You've been quiet all afternoon," their captain said.
"Oh. Oh! I'm just... tired. Like Hakase said, the trip was a total waste of time." She smiled widely. "I think I'll go rest now. See you in the morning!"
Inside her room, Luka took out the ring and studied it with a maniacal grin on her face.
Yep, this one certainly was an acceptable replacement for the ring Marvelous took from her.
Four
"This is one of Earth's greatest treasures?" Hakase asked, holding a paper in his hand. "I don't get it."
Ahim shook her head. "I don't, either. But there must be a reason why it's so difficult to steal in the first place, and why Earthlings seem to enjoy drinking it so much." She reached out and took the recipe from Don's hands. "Do you think we should try it first, Hakase-san?"
Don sighed. "We don't have those ingredients aboard the ship, though. Where are we supposed to get... extracts of kola nut, Merchandise 7x, and this... coca? What is coca, anyway?"
"Hmm," Ahim said, studying the ingredients. "And the procedure certainly looks complicated, too. Oh, well." She smiled, folded the paper and hid it in her skirts. "I guess I'll just stick with tea, then!"
Five
"So..." Luka started, raising her brows at her teammates. "Is this true?"
"It certainly sounds like it," Ahim said softly. "Humans really do have the greatest treasure in the universe, but it's unlike anything we've ever encountered before."
"And it's not just one," Don added. "It's a whole list of them."
Joe looked uncomfortable as he said, "Friendship, courage, adventure, love--"
"--trust, loyalty, family," Luka finished. "And that's just some of them."
Silence.
And then they all laughed.
"Come on," Marvelous told them. "Let's go find ourselves some real treasure!"
Rating: G
Notes: Crack!fic of multiple proportions. I don't even know.
One
"A painting," Marvelous said, raising one brow. "You two stole a painting?"
Don exchanged grins with Ahim and nearly bounced on his feet. "Yes!"
"The museum it was housed in was very definitely impressive," Ahim said, folding her hands neatly in front of her and smiling. "And there were a lot of beautiful Earthling things to choose from!"
"But we think the one they called Mona Lisa is the most expensive," he said. "It's literally priceless, so we can sell it at a very high price!"
"Huh," their captain said, nonchalantly. "Very well. You should--"
He was rudely interrupted when the sound of a firing gun pierced their senses. Don and Ahim went running, while Marvelous followed languidly behind them.
"...what did you do?" Don asked, staring in horror at the scene before him.
Joe polished his gun, then threw a lazy glance at the bullet-ridden painting behind him. "I didn't like the way she was looking at me," he said simply.
Two
"You're sure we can sell that thing?" Luka asked, giving Joe a questioning look. "It's just a naked guy with a very small--"
"Of course we can," he said smugly, crossing his arms. "If there's one thing I've learned from humans, it's that they care a lot about their cultural heritage. I doubt they'd just let the missing statue remain missing for long."
At that moment, Ahim screamed.
The two barely moved from their seats.
"I don't know," Luka said.
"Just trust me," Joe told her.
"Fine," she said, standing. "Come on. I want to measure his tiny little--"
"Luka."
"All right!" She rolled her eyes. "But you have to admit, it's really small."
Joe refused to say anything in response to that.
A few minutes later, and the two were frantically looking for their statue.
"Didn't we just leave it here?" Luka asked.
"We did," Joe said. "Who could have--"
"Good afternoon," Ahim greeted them with a smile and a bow. "How are you this fine day?"
"Ahim, you didn't happen to see a statue of a guy that was just here a few minutes ago, did you?" Luka asked, agitated.
The woman raised her chin, walked to the table, and began preparing herself a cup of tea.
"Ahim," Joe said.
She delicately sniffled. "I threw it overboard."
Silence. Then, "What?"
"A lady shouldn't be in the presence of such a big, naked... thing!" she protested. "It's unforgivable, so I did the right thing and got rid of it." Ahim then smiled serenely at the two outraged pirates and calmly offered, "Would you two like some tea?"
Three
"I'm tired," Don proclaimed, plopping down on the sofa with a sigh. "What a waste of time that was!"
Ahim nodded, then quietly sat beside him. "It really is disappointing. I would have wanted to see what the Earth's most expensive diamond looks like."
"It's a diamond," Joe told her. "They all look the same. This one's just bigger, and blue from what I hear."
"Still..."
"Luka," Marvelous said, looking at her strangely.
She jumped, then immediately felt for the ring hanging loosely from her necklace - the one nobody saw her swipe for herself. "W-What? What?"
"You've been quiet all afternoon," their captain said.
"Oh. Oh! I'm just... tired. Like Hakase said, the trip was a total waste of time." She smiled widely. "I think I'll go rest now. See you in the morning!"
Inside her room, Luka took out the ring and studied it with a maniacal grin on her face.
Yep, this one certainly was an acceptable replacement for the ring Marvelous took from her.
Four
"This is one of Earth's greatest treasures?" Hakase asked, holding a paper in his hand. "I don't get it."
Ahim shook her head. "I don't, either. But there must be a reason why it's so difficult to steal in the first place, and why Earthlings seem to enjoy drinking it so much." She reached out and took the recipe from Don's hands. "Do you think we should try it first, Hakase-san?"
Don sighed. "We don't have those ingredients aboard the ship, though. Where are we supposed to get... extracts of kola nut, Merchandise 7x, and this... coca? What is coca, anyway?"
"Hmm," Ahim said, studying the ingredients. "And the procedure certainly looks complicated, too. Oh, well." She smiled, folded the paper and hid it in her skirts. "I guess I'll just stick with tea, then!"
Five
"So..." Luka started, raising her brows at her teammates. "Is this true?"
"It certainly sounds like it," Ahim said softly. "Humans really do have the greatest treasure in the universe, but it's unlike anything we've ever encountered before."
"And it's not just one," Don added. "It's a whole list of them."
Joe looked uncomfortable as he said, "Friendship, courage, adventure, love--"
"--trust, loyalty, family," Luka finished. "And that's just some of them."
Silence.
And then they all laughed.
"Come on," Marvelous told them. "Let's go find ourselves some real treasure!"