zarahjoyce: (Default)
 .luka/joe. waking up with amnesia au
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zarahjoyce: (Default)
Title: Static
Summary: They were left behind, just the two of them. Perhaps it was only natural that they'd be drawn to one another. Then again, perhaps not. Woo Bin/Ga Eul, Yi Jung/Ga Eul. Set before series epilogue.
Notes: I'm so sorry this chapter took so long! But I want to thank those who encouraged me to continue writing this story - you guys are the best!


zarahjoyce: (norikae)
Title: Recall
Adult!ToQgers are the best, yo. Also this is just an exercise at writing ToQger and Hikari/Mio again; let's see where this takes me. Idk. I just can't stop thinking how they'd be like as adults, or them talking like boring adults. IDEK WHAT THIS IS.

Takes place before the ToQger movie.

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zarahjoyce: (grrrrrr)
I was looking for you everywhere.
I know you won't be there. I know it's impossible; I live in this invisible space at the corner of a province, and you-- well, I'd assume you occupy a much bigger place at the very heart of the metropolis. You belong there, anyway.
And yet I'm looking for you here.
Have you ever anticipated something so bad your bones ache? Have you ever felt so excited because, what if--
--what if I turn around, what if I look to my left, what if I lift my gaze upwards--
--and find that you're there?
It's impossible.
But my bones ache.
I don't even know how I'd react. I'll be shocked. I'll be elated. And then I'll question what the hell--
Of course I won't make myself known. Why should I? It's coincidence. It's got to be pure luck; what else could have brought you here?
I'd probably laugh myself silly. Make myself look appropriately busy. Turn away to make sure that it won't seem like I'm on the lookout for you--
After all, I do have some pride.
A few steps after our encounter and I'll be looking over my shoulder, hoping, wanting, thinking that maybe I should've-- but no, that will be pathetic, won't it?
All these thoughts and of course none of them happened. Another day has passed that I am haunted by you.
Fuck you, dude.
You've made my world so small that it seems I can't step out and not think you'll be there, too.
And it suffocates me when I know that you're not.
Tomorrow I'll be dancing out again; will you be there? Or will I be forever chasing after your specter, while you yourself flitted some place else?
Dude. Fuck you.

zarahjoyce: (sob)
let me just ramble a bit

I'm admittedly too old for crushes. too old to feel giddy and weak at the knees and flustered and excited and nervous, all at the same time.
I've been happy in my own world. No; I wasn't happy - I've been miserable and empty but I was perfectly content living with my misery. I've been content knowing that I will never love, that I will never be loved - that I am, and will be, always alone.
(I've long since accepted that there's something wrong with me. There must be. I'm too different, too emotionless, too physically unappealing, too awkward, too everything. I'm at an advanced stage already and yet my life remains without life. I've stopped waiting for change to come because it never will. I will be unaltered and uncut and all my pieces intact and it will be my trademark until death. Untouched. Unloved.)
I was fine. I was okay. I was apathetic to thoughts of holding hands and sharing smiles. I didn't want to entertain them, not when they involved me. I was fine. I was fine.
And then you came along.
I've created this picture of you in my mind, and it won't go away. You're always there, even when you're not. You make my heart skip a beat (dumb), you make my heart flutter (stupid), you make my heart beat so fast (idiot). You make me breathless and jumpy just thinking about you. Even now, just the thought of you shakes the very hollowness of my foundations.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I want to look for you but I don't want to know more about you. Your perfectness make me ache. Your full life makes mine even emptier. Your activeness make my passiveness seem, on hindsight, a terrible choice, on my part.
And you're so young.
And you don't know I exist. (Not alive, for I am not.)
For the first time, after so, so long, I wonder - what will your hand feel like? How big will it be? How deep can your voice go? How wide can your smile be?
(Can I touch you? I did, once - an impulsive act on my part that I feel you're already used to. Know that it's something I'm not.)
I dream, I pray, I want - that you, too, are bothered by thoughts of me; that your heart's rhythm becomes erratic in my presence, that you feel giddy and nervous and excited at the very idea I represent. That you look forward to our fleeting encounters; that you wish I'd look at you, just once; that I'd smile at you and exchange a few pleasantries with you enough to last you until our next fleeting moments.
I pray you think of me, even in your sleep, as revenge for me thinking and dreaming of you.
I never knew how painful that word is.
I feel like a throbbing wound and you're to blame.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate your perfect existence and your perfect face and your perfectness, because it forces me to see all that is ugly in me and realize that while there are some things I can change, others I cannot - and that until I do, I will never have any chance with you.
I feel like I needed you for me to change me, and that I've become someone I despised.
But not too much.
I hate you.
I hate your perfect teeth and your big dumb ears and your flawless skin and you play sports and read books and fuck you, you're probably married or are seeing someone because someone like you can't remain unattached for so long.
I don't want to know. I feel like I'll shatter if I do.
I hate you.
I love you, I think. And it makes me hate you more.
zarahjoyce: (haaarto)
Summary: Gransazer fic about my favorite character and favorite tribe yuhhhs although this is just a sorry excuse to write slight Akira/Ryoko, unrequited Jin/Ryoko, and Naoto/Ryoko. Takes place in indefinite periods along the season's progression.

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zarahjoyce: (grrrrrr)
SOMEONE FUCKING TELL ME WHY I CAN'T LOG IN OR EVEN GO TO TUMBLR ANYMORE AGHHHH it's so annoying especially since I can access it from work but from my house I can't, not through my phone or even through the laptop. GRRR.

So my Christmas break is almost over and I spent it by re-watching Boukenger and also Gransazer, the latter of which I only very vaguely remembered actually seeing. I do remember that I had a favorite  character there - Ryoko - and I chanced upon a spoiler that she got married and I was like. WHAT. But then I remembered shipping her with Akira and I was like !!!! BUT THEN I SAW THAT SHE MARRIED NAOTO AND I WAS LIKE !!!!! WHO THE FUCK IS NAOTO EVEN

So like an obsessed idiot, I wanted to see for myself how this ending came to be. Needless to say, there were some hints, not very strong ones, but if one saw them with the knowledge of what happens in the end... 

Needless to say, expect some fics in the future. Shippy things maybe but I also want to focus on the Wind Tribe dynamics because they are so awesome. Like. Acting-wise Jin's actor is doubtless the best; Akira's and even Ryoko's were - I'm sorry to say - horrible - but there is a charm to their horribleness that made the group more... interesting, I guess? The other tribes were just there - though I do adore Naoto and Makoto and Tippei is just gorgeous, you guys - but tribe-wise, the Wind guys are ahead by miles in my heart of hearts.


zarahjoyce: (hands are sexy y'all)
Summary: Nejiten drabbles from A to Z.
Notes: Figures I'll write for this fandom when it's officially over.

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zarahjoyce: (Fang disapproves of these shenanigans)
Summary: Probably post ep 24 and heavy spoilers for ep 26.

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zarahjoyce: (hands are sexy y'all)
Summary: "'i don't kiss people i don't like.' so that means... you must like me, right?" Scenarios about Hikaru and Urara. Slight spoilers from ep 19 upwards.

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zarahjoyce: (norikae)
Summary: Fifteen truths about Hikari and Mio. More speculations on their origins and some slight spoilers for ep 28.

Response to requests for Hikari/Mio.

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zarahjoyce: (norikae)
Summary: Fifteen truths about Tokatti and his crush on Mio.

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zarahjoyce: (Default)
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